Fights are common in every relation. You occasionally have small tiffs and misunderstandings, and you need not worry about them unless there is some serious issue. The measure of a healthy relation can be related to how easily a couple can make up after a fight. It should not take more than a few hours.
Making up after a fight is not very easy, but both the people have to try their best to make up. Here are a few ways in which you can make up sooner after your fight and get back to normal as if nothing ever happened:
Understand that the marriage is more important
You need not always have to prove you are right. Your marriage is definitely more important than proving that you are right and your spouse is wrong. You need not necessarily have to prove it. So, forget all issues and reconcile for the sake of your relationship.
Make sure you do not attack, defend, or explain anything
Do not start over the fight by giving reasons or attacking once again. This will only worsen the situation and you two will end up fighting again. There is no use talking over the same topic again. Just let it go.
Accept your mistakes
In case you are wrong, admit it. This will help ease the tension between the two of you and also help build the trust. It could be that you are right about the topic, but wrong in the way you reacted or behaved. Whatever it is, admit it and say that you are sorry. It builds respect and helps you clear your differences.
Make sure to calm down first
Calm down yourself before trying to make up. Do not try to make up with the intention that your spouse will calm you down. You can try out other ways like taking a walk, talking to a friend, listening to some good music, or reading a book to calm down your mind before you try to make up. Give enough space for the two of you to calm down and then talk.
You have to be mature
One spouse is always more mature than the other in every relation. So, it will be either you or your spouse. If you are the mature one, do not bring down your spirits by the lack of maturity from your spouse’s side. You have to bring up your partner by your sense of maturity.
Help you spouse to be right, and restart your communication
During your fight if your spouse did have some valid points, accept it without attacking or defending. Help your spouse to be right. Your spouse may start reciprocating on it, but do not give way to it. Do not justify yourself. This may only increase the fight. Do not ask if you were right. Just let it go.
Learn to deal with verbal attacks even after the fight
There are many people who take time to calm down. If your spouse is one among them, he or she may continue the verbal attacks and blaming even after the fight. Do not reciprocate to them or get affected. This will only increase the tension. Deal with them positively. If you are unable to deal, then do not participate. Just try to ignore. If you argue more, it will damage the situation further.
Take up the responsibility to change
If your spouse had valid points in the argument, work on them and change them. Do your part even if the other does not try. Changing will earn you respect, and you do not have to compromise your principles if the arguments were valid.
Be positive about your desire for a healthy marriage
Be very positive about your marriage and so not rush in to any negativity. “I love you and I want a good marriage” is what should be in your mind. Do not use any negative words.
Do not rush to make up
Your partner needs time. You have to make up, but give it some time. Let the whole fight sink in and settle. You have to be patient until your spouse is also ready. Many people are able to calm only if they have the space. Give this space to your spouse.
Well, fighting is not a bad thing at all. But letting it get in to your nerves is what is wrong. So, forget all your issues, put down your ego, and kick start your relation. Every person has his own set of flaws and there are bound to be fights in every relation. Do not let that hinder your beautiful relation. After all, nobody is perfect, but it is always about creating the perfect relationship, right?